>… that I’ve been MIA. It’s been a few sick, stinky days of miserable headaches and hacking coughs coupled with a crabby, sick toddler and a healthy but petulantly lonely husband. Way to kill the Christmas spirit, eh?
And I’ve been wrestling. I want to be able to be crabby, to put my walls up, be hell on wheels when I need (or even want) to be. But I can’t. It’s not in my nature. I can hold it together for a few moments and then end up feeling like a big butthead poser. I’m a peacemaker, a benefit-of-the-doubt giver, a harmony seeker. Sometimes I explode, but then I scramble to fix it. And some days – most days – TODAY – this drives me nuts about myself. Why can’t a just retaliate, offend, give the silent treatment like a good little Italian?