>the baby decision

>I never knew what a loaded topic having children is: how much advice I would get – solicited and non, how invested other people would be in my decision, how difficult it would be to muddle through.

But then bringing a human being into this world is no small thing, so I guess it’s right that deciding to do it should be no small thing, either.

And here is where I’ve landed – I definitely want another one. But now is not the time.

I know – I already hear and have heard it – there’s never a “right” time, you will never regret having children but you might regret not having them, it’s better to have them closer together.

I’ve mulled it. And here’s the thing: there may not be a “right” time, but there’s a wrong time. And I do think that I might regret it if I had one now – not regret the child, but the timing. Because it’s a time where things are tenuous. Because my hubby and I would go on seeing little to nothing of each other – but even less than the little we do now. It could be our undoing, as a couple. It could be our undoing financially. And, really, having kids close together is no guarantee that they’ll be close. They could be six years apart and be as close knit as they come, like my little brother and I are.

So. There you have it.

My heart feels resolved, not so tender and vulnerable and worn; the snow globe of my thoughts has settled into a peace that embraces my soul. That’s the decision, and it’s right.

And for those of you who listened to my heart speak and repeated back to me what you heard it saying – thank you. I hope I can do the same thing for you when you need it.

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5 Responses to >the baby decision

  1. Anonymous says:

    >elle. thanks so much for this…you’re speaking my language, i support you 100% and totally understand what you are saying girlie!!! way to listen to your heart, gods heart and going with thatxoxoamie

  2. Sarah says:

    >I agree hon – got with you intuition – it seldom sends you the wrong way. You live in you life not everyone else. Do what feels right to you!!! Take it from a Mom of 5 (5 – 27) the difference in years means nothing – it’s their personalities that make them bond!

  3. BOSSY says:

    >Bossy’s kids are nearly seven years apart and inseparable. How we like them apples?

  4. Smadraji says:

    >Nice PostingGay Events 2009

  5. >Hi Elle, Mine are 4 1/2 years apart and I wouldn't have it any other way. Sophia is a BIG helper and soooo easy now that Jimmy's here. She's stepped up her maturity and waiting was hard at times, but worth it. Mel and I are almost five years apart and are best friends. Remember, others won't be there at the grocery store while you're there alone with two little ones…much better to have a helper on your hands than one who is barely out of diapers!Love to you, Jen

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